It seems Orlando may very well be sick. An un-named person has seen him of late and reported that during the time he spent at their house O managed to have several seizures. When asked what the results are of some testing, he didn't know because he hadn't gone back to find out. There is something wrong with that statement, he either a) knows and doesn't want to tell b) never went to be tested in the first place or c) is afraid to go back and find out. Regardless, he needs to be able to tell folks what is wrong not to mention know himself. I can safely report back that he is still an active alcoholic so the seizures aren't being caused by my previous thought which was he quit drinking. I saw all of T's sibs on Facebook, they all favor each other. The newest is a spitting image. I find that comical seeing as how it was a fluke that she wound up with O in the first place and has defied the statement of once you go black because she hasn't gone back since, LOL.
I have started going to church so I am trying to change some ways, one of which is to have so much hatred and disdain for Orlando. Its hard. I am trying to find forgiveness and just let it go, but my son is fixing to go to college and make something of himself and I don't want to hear one word out of O's mouth of a contribution to that. The best I can do right now is to say, I no longer with you dead. Its not where the Good Lord wants me to be, but for now, its a baby step. If you had been a decent parent, it would have never boiled down to the money. I could have cared less, I survived all these years without it right. It seems like you have gotten scared now that you aren't well and you should be but its hard to trust anything you are about because if you were well, you would have just kept on going.
Dear Jesus,
Please help me with my anger towards my son's biological father. Please help me forgive him for all the things he has missed and never done for my son and my son's siblings.
Amen
