I just wanted to air dirty laundry. When I re-read these, I was extremely nice for me regarding him and when I re-read his response it only ills me worse.
Subject: Tony
Date: Mon, 8 Dec 2008 10:23:59 -0500
From: RSO
To: orlando-hall@hotmail.com
Orlando,
Tony now officially gets nothing from the state down to the fact that he no longer qualifies for free-lunch. So that means I am paying for Insurance, school lunches, school clothes, Christmas, 15th Birthday Party and putting some money back to get the boy a car among every day living expenses. Im asking directly that you start helping him get thru life Orlando. I have never ever asked you for anything. There is only one income paying the bills at my house and it is me and its tight right now. I didn't care nearly as much when someone else was footing the responsibilities that you should be handling but since July, I have been handling them on my own and I AM TIRED.
I realize that you are unemployed, but I know that if you needed or wanted a job today, I could get you on at Sagebrush and have connections at other places. What I don't want to see is you making money under the table working on motorcycles and then me having to go to court only to find out that you claim unemployment. Im 100% positive that you smoke both cigs and greens when you want to, you drink your 40's or whatever is your drink of choice when you want to and you do and go wherever you want, you buy yourself namebrand clothes and when you see your kids you wonder for one second why they feel the way they do, well they see you got more than they got and you don't give a flip what they do or don't have. What they see is that you put you 1st and they know just like you know that behavior is WRONG.
You can afford weapons, you can afford to go to Honda Hoot, you can afford to ride around on a motorcycle, you can afford to be unemployed at Christmas time and be taken care of, you can afford all of these things and do it with no conscious of what your kids have or don't have. It means nothing to you. You need to work anywhere during this holiday season and help out your blood Orlando, we need the help during this month most of all and I know that you feel like cooking is beneath you now, but it is what it is and I NEED HELP.
I hope you don't take this request lightly. Im serious when I say I am tired and you may have gotten out of trouble because you are proving being at that Career Center, but it isn't helping me feed, cloth or provide for your son, so my understanding is completely gone and I will be a permanent fixture at that Child Support office being one of those women that they can't stand to hear her voice because Im calling down there wondering why something isn't being done. I should mention that I plan to have Laura come to court with me in February so that Im sure Im heard, she is now a Juvenile Attorney located to the right of the courthouse. Im serious when I say Im tired of playing this money game with you. I need help and if you aren't going to be father enough just to give me the minimum then I am going to have to step up the game plan.
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From: Orlando Hall [mailto:orlando-hall@hotmail.com]
Sent: Monday, December 08, 2008 1:56 PM
To: Reese, Stephanie A (RSO)
Subject: RE: Tony
I get that your upset
(I doubt that)but what you dont know and probably dont care to know is that I can't work or get unemployment because the Social Security office has me listed as dead since 2004
(So I wonder why his children haven't been receiving payment for his legally dead self for 4 years) and the unemployment office says there are 2 social security numbers listed for me. I have been trying to get this fixed since September and they still haven't gotten it fixed--so i have no money coming in. I have been out everyday walking
(I live a mile from this man and I have never seen him walking)and putting in applications everywhere and no one has offered me a job. I don't have transportation--the bike is wrecked and undriveable(It looked just fine the month you went to Honda Hoot), so it's not as easy as you make it out to be
(Its not that its easy, its that you aren't taking the jobs you don't want at a time when nobody is hiring) that i can go and get a job anywhere, because i have been trying since I got laid off in Sept.
Yes, I know I have responsbilities to all of my kids and no matter what you or anyone else thinks I am trying. No, I dont go out and do whatever I want--I gave that up a long time ago. I go to school 2 nights a week and the rest of the time i am at home.
(Im so tired of hearing about you going to school, you been in school now for 10 years) Your not the only one who is struggling this time of the year
(No,but Im struggling worse because of you), I'm not going to ask Angie to pay my child support and take away from Tre, bills and food here. It's not her job, its mine and Im not taking this lightly.
(I never wanted Angies money, its bad enough she is footing you as a bill as well) All I can do is what i have been, applying for jobs that are within walking distance of our house and trying to get this mess cleared up so i can work and work legally.
I do have some gifts for Tony if he wants them. He and Tre talk during one of their classes and i was going to have Tre ask him if he wanted them, you can do that and let me know. It's not a lot but its something.
(Its Jan 2nd, do you think Tony has gotten a gift, a birthday present, hell even a phone call, NOPE) O
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From: Reese, Stephanie A (RSO)
Sent: Monday, December 08, 2008 2:35 PM
To: 'Orlando Hall'
Subject: RE: Tony
Importance: Low
I don't want Angie to pay your support, I would never pay another child's support so I feel you and her there. I have never been one to really harp on you about the money, just sit back and think ill will of you is all, but it has come a time where I can no longer function and do all of this by myself. And yes, I do get angry when my son asks for stuff and I can't give it to him. He doesn't ask for much that is out of my reach until this time of the year because of his birthday and this year is more of a struggle for me so yes I am mad about it. He works Orlando, he works all them home games for UT and he does this for extras. He is really angry with you. I don't think you would get the reaction you wanted from him unless you approached him face to face and even then it would take several times of that. Sometimes, no most of the time, I don't think you realize what a gem you have in Tony Hall. He will go to college, he will make something out of himself, he is responsible and he is the child that was named after you, your first born and now that 15 years has passed us by, what does that really mean to you. I just don't know. He excels in school all A's & B's, he takes CAD and is exceptional in his fine arts class, thats the funny thing, if you guys could ever find common ground I think you would do well in a relationship, but both of you would have to get past your issues first, his issues being anger, yours being you don't like it when people are angry at you or having to feel guilty.
I'm not trying to argue with you or contradict you on they why's of which you can't work. What I will say is this. Every time I have seen you, you have been driving Angies car. I shared a vehicle with my ex for over 2 years and that meant one of us worked days and the other worked nights and when that didn't happen, he was riding with co-workers. I do understand all the other stuff too. Been there done that so I know that it takes extra efforts but it can be done. Im angry with reason and I don't feel like you will ever understand that.
I heard about the being dead and social security mix up stuff. I am in the midst of working with Nashville on my own namesake issues as well so I do know of how that can be time consuming. What I don't know is how it can prevent you from holding a job.
Hell if you are clean, I can get you hooked up with any of the local union halls for a job, I have been doing this here for over 3 years and I know a collection of people that matter here. There won't be any jobs here until February because they don't hire during the holidays and the locals aren't putting recs out until February but its manual labor. If you are up for it, just let me know. Laborers top out at 16, Operators @ 22, Electricians @ 25 and so on. You can be an apprentice for any or all of these but its 6:30 a.m. - 5:30 p.m. M-F and usually when the money is good around here there is 10 hours of overtime.
When I think of school, I get angry too Orlando, don't think I didn't want to go back to school. I could be all kinds of things in this world with an education but I have had to work my butt off an fight hard to get what I get now. I didn't have the opportunities of being childless. If I had half the opportunities you have had, I wouldn't be sweating so badly so when you mention the school thing, yes I do hope it works out for you but know I harbor some green envy that its you going and not me.
You know most of the time, I think that missing out on Tony's life is totally a loss for you. One you regret more so now than ever. Tony spends a lot of time acting all hard when really he is a big softie. He has had some rough years and we are now in a good relationship where things aren't so off kilter. He hates when I cry because I don't have lunch money for the day, he hates asking me for movie money on a Friday night because he has spent his own, he hates it when I cry because he wants that new pair of shoes that I simply can't afford and thats when he thinks of you and what do you think comes next. In his mind, you take care of Tre and you left him behind to fend for himself. Thats what he thinks Orlando and put yourself in his shoes, why shouldn't he think that. I googled you address to mine, you live .7 miles from our house. Thats not even a mile. What do you think he thinks about that? If you want a relationship with your son, you are going to have to find a way to do it. I wouldn't probably be half the beeyotch I am today, if you and Tony didn't have no relationship at all and he didn't feel like you don't love him, want to be a father to him or to support him. Thats what probably burns me up the most.
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